Chanel Dubofsky

helloflo.com

What’s It Like To Wait More Than 72 Hours For An Abortion?

You’re pregnant and you don’t want to be. You know you want an abortion, and the clock is ticking – the longer you stay pregnant, the more expensive the procedure becomes, and the less likely it will be that you can obtain an abortion in the state where you live, if at all. You go to the doctor, confirm your pregnancy, and then you’re told that no, you can’t get an abortion today. You have to wait, and it’s going to be a while.
R, a teacher in New York City, was around 9 weeks pregnant when s...

heyalma.com

Single Jewish Women Have Some Superstitions About KitchenAids

I did not understand the significance of the KitchenAid mixer. We have one — it’s white, on the old side but still functional, and my housemates use it on occasion to make cookies. We got it from Craigslist, knowing that brand new mixers are super expensive — even without all the fancy attachments, the Quart Bowl-Lift Stand Mixer model is $700, before shipping, if you buy it online.
I was aware that this was a useful object, but I didn’t realize, or appreciate, the deep power with which it wa...

helloflo.com

Here’s What You Should Know About Getting Healthcare If You’re Undocumented

On January 11, 2018, the ACLU reported that yet another undocumented young woman was being denied access to an abortion. For those of you keeping track, this is the fourth time this has happened since the advent of the Trump administration. The profusion of these accounts is not only disturbing because, as Nikki Jacobson, a Los Angeles immigration lawyer put it, “they will find anyway to deny someone an abortion,” but because of the fear it spreads among undocumented folks looking to access a...

helloflo.com

Let’s Talk About Being Afraid of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is dangerous. If you weren’t already aware of the many things that can happen to both you and your fetus during both pregnancy and childbirth, don’t worry – you can remedy that with a quick Google search. (Also, maybe don’t do this, and talk to a doctor instead.) It’s not weird or wrong to be anxious about pregnancy, and it certainly isn’t uncommon, just as it’s not unheard of to hate being pregnant – it just isn’t talked about.

“To me the words pregnancy and fear are synonymous,” K...

helloflo.com

3 Months Later, Getting An Abortion in Puerto Rico Is Still Almost Impossible

Abortion is technically legal in Puerto Rico, if it’s performed by a physician adhering to requirements put forth by the US Department of Health, and if it’s being done in order to save the life and/or health of the mother. Unlike in many US states, there’s no parental consent law, and a Google search for “abortion puerto rico” will render actual clinics that provide abortions (as opposed to crisis pregnancy centers).

Before Hurricane Maria virtually destroyed Puerto Rico’s infrastructure in ...

helloflo.com

Here Are 5 Ways You Can Combat Abortion Stigma

Shame and stigma shouldn’t be able to stop people from getting health care.

Let’s start with a definition. Abortion stigma is the negative ideas assigned to folks who seek abortions, who have had them, and who provide them. These ideas include the notion that abortion is wrong, dangerous and dirty, that everyone who has an abortion regrets their decision, that abortion causes mental distress, those who perform abortions aren’t legitimate doctors, it’s unthinkable and immoral to have more than...

helloflo.com

Not Feeling Your Biological Clock Tick? You’re Not Alone

If you are a cis woman who doesn’t want to have kids, you know that those who are confounded by your choice, as well as those who are probably well meaning on some level, love to reference the biological clock. As in, “Oh, just wait until your biological clock starts ticking, then you’ll want one.”

The reality of reproductive time, i.e. fertility, has become the obsessive focus of media targeting women, particularly in the context of balancing family and work, creating much anxiety and prompt...

helloflo.com

We Can (And Should) Talk About Regretting Motherhood

Nothing can actually prepare you for the reality of being a parent
In 2013, The Daily Mail published a piece by Isabella Dutton, a 57-year-old mother of two, in which Dutton stated that she regretted having children. While she loved her children, Dutton said, she ultimately wished that she had remained childfree, as she was when she got married, but changed her mind because her husband wanted kids.
Needless to say, the Internet exploded over this piece. While it’s become somewhat more palatab...

helloflo.com

What Do You Do When You Can’t Afford An Abortion?

Depending on where you live, how far along you are in your pregnancy, and other factors – like if you have other children who require childcare (which, statistically, you do, because 6 out of 10 people who have abortions already have at least one child) – accessing an abortion can be expensive and complicated.
Abortion funds exist to help those who can’t afford an abortion obtain one. They’re local or regional non-profit organizations, often affiliated with clinics that provide abortions, eac...

helloflo.com

Scared To Have Sex After A Pregnancy Scare? You’re Not Alone

When you don’t want to be pregnant, a scare can change your life.
So you were worried that you were pregnant, and you didn’t want to be. You took a test, and it was negative (or it was a false positive), and then you took another one, and then maybe even another, and then you went to a doctor so they could confirm the result. And you’re not pregnant. Hooray!
What happens now, after your equilibrium has been restored and you aren’t terrified anymore? How did that pregnancy scare impact your se...

Lilith

How Tel Aviv’s New Bloody Hour Can Destigmatize Periods

Who do you talk to about your period? When I asked people this question, the answers included everything from other people who get their periods, their partner, their doctor, and of course, “No one.” One person told me she talks about her period with everyone, except cis men she doesn’t know. Another woman said she talks about it explicitly with cis men, because of the discomfort, rooted in misogyny, it causes, and that she’ll continue to do so until that discomfort is a thing of the past.
Wo...

Lilith

We Need To Talk About Sexual Harassment in Tip-Based Jobs

When H was 23, she worked as a server at a restaurant known for its brunch menu. One morning, she told me, she was in the kitchen making coffee with another employee who was prepping eggs. “He was maybe—ten feet away from me,” she said. H asked him how his weekend had gone, and in response, “he crossed the room, kissed me, and then went back to his spot and answered my question.”
She mentioned the incident to a male server, who dismissed it, but later, the man who kissed her was fired, after ...

heyalma.com

Searching for the Sisterhood of Childfree Jews

I have been ambivalent about many things—mostly shows on Netflix which I’m told I “have to watch,” excessively popular books that are supposed to change my life, and assorted food crazes (hello, coconut water).
I have not ever been ambivalent about having children. The answer has always been no. The closest I came to something like wanting them was in my early 20s, when I thought I’d become a rabbi. There were many reasons I cut and run from that career choice, including the fact that I did n...

ravishly.com

Childfree Women Are Amazing: A Look At My So-Called Selfish Life

I started writing this essay twice. First, I was going to tell you about a conversation I had recently about narrow escapes, in the form of relationships we'd gotten out of before they led to lives we didn't want. Then, I was going to write about how I decided to stop writing about being childfree because I thought there was nothing left to say on the topic. This is the third attempt, in which I tell you that there is definitely not nothing left to say about being childfree, but there are lot...

helloflo.com

The Best Way To Tell Your Doctor What’s Going On In Your Body

How does visiting the gynecologist make you feel? Anxious? Empowered? Have you ever felt intimidated by the prospect of having to explain what’s going on in your body? Did you have a less than stellar experience with another provider, and you’re coping with the aftermath? Talking to your doctor can be intimidating, but getting your needs met can be easier than you think.
J, who dealt with chronic yeast infections for years, had to find a new doctor after her insurance provider changed. After ...